Love in the cyber age

Jane Hoskyn | Friday 19 October | 09:52

girl on the phone

We used to have to wait until we got home from work to tell our mates how our day was and if anything exciting had happened. These days, every time anything of note happens, we can respond by instantly sending a text or email to our friends to inform them.

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We have access to provide a constant, instant running commentary on our lives.  The same goes for our personal relationships.  We seem to continually be communicating but it’s seldom face to face.  In fact - so often do we text, call and email while we’re at work that one may be forgiven for wondering: is there anything left to be said by the time the evening comes around? 

In this modern world it can be easier to hide behind a veil of emails and texts to say the things we most want to say. Sometimes, things that are hard to say face to face can be comfortably relayed by text: “I love you”, “I miss you”, “Fancy a drink?”, “You’re dumped”!

We even seem to have arguments over texts and emails, but so often it’s these messages that can are responsible for the row in the first place. It’s too easy to take things the wrong way when you don’t have expressions; both facial and vocal.  A miscommunication here, a crossed wire or misinterpretation there and suddenly we’re into a full blown, text-based confrontation.  Like wiseman Cliff Richard once sang, “It’s so funny how we don’t talk anymore”!

So - have things gone too far? When we come to sit down face to face with our ‘other half’ or date, we can sometimes feel lost without the protection of the “cyber curtain”.

But all evidence points to the fact that we are communicating more than ever before and, for better or worse, that can’t be a bad thing. OK – perhaps it’s not talking as such but - maybe we’re able to make our point more efficiently via a text; maybe we are able to express ourselves without interruption through email and maybe we are more open and chatty on the phone.  Perhaps we are revealing more about ourselves than we ever would have done without the help of the technology that surrounds us.

Whatever your opinion, love in this cyber age is certainly different to our parents’ generation. We are now pathfinders, trying to find love, romance and friendship through so many new means.  And - one thing hasn’t changed; relationships are hard work – and however they are founded and formed, I for one would argue that you can’t beat good old fashioned talking.

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