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Cancel the wedding

Rebecca Garson | Monday 01 September 2008 | 12:00

It is perfectly normal to get pre-wedding jitters, but what if it’s more than that? According to AskMen.com’s relationship correspondent, Gary Jackson, approximately half of all marriages end in divorce, so it's sensible to double-check that your very last pickup is the perfect person for you.


So how do you know that the person you are marrying is the the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? Here are some signs that you should consider cancelling the wedding.



1.    Your families hate each other


If your families can’t stand the sight of each other and you have a severe case of Romeo and Juliet’s Capulet/Montague warfare on your hands maybe this is a sign that things are destined for disaster?



2.    Your sex life is fizzling


No matter what people say, sex is a crucial part of any marriage and if it’s already starting to fizzle, this is not a good sign. However, if you have completely different attitudes to sex you should not necessarily call things off, but make sure you sit down with your partner and try and sort things out. It is extremely important to make sure you are sexually compatible.



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3.    They have pre-wedding stress


It is perfectly normal to get stressed when planning a wedding. But intense situations like this can show people’s true colours. “Stressful times can bring out the worst in people. Any veins of selfishness, vanity and shallowness -- the flaws you feared most -- will come bubbling to the surface,” warns Gary Jackson. So if your wedding turns your bride or groom to be into a monster, you should think long and hard about whether they truly are “The One”.



4.    They’ve cheated


Has your partner ever cheated on you? If they have can you be sure they won’t do the same again? While some people do choose to forgive an unfaithful partner, it is very hard to forget their betrayal as the seeds of doubt have already been planted. You are going to be spending the rest of your life with this person and so if you think you will be constantly wondering if they could be cheating on you with someone else it may be best to reconsider.



5.    They’re over controlling


Weddings are bound to cause the bride or groom to be somewhat assertive when it comes to the wedding plans. But how controlling are they? If they start deciding everything and don’t let you have any say over the ceremony, this is not a good sign. They may not like a few of your friends, but if they forbid them from coming to the wedding, or start picking out your clothes this is simply not acceptable. In a partnership, there has to be compromise.



6.    You want different things


Before marrying someone it is very important to suss out their long term ambitions, wants and needs. One of the most important is their attitude towards children. You should talk about these issues before taking the plunge. If one of you wants children and the other does not, you should seriously consider whether you are right for one another.



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