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Valid reasons for you to hate Valentine’s

Katie Silcox | Wednesday 13 February 2008 | 11:29

 

Come mid-Jan a country-wide phenomenon occurs for all singletons who enjoy going out, meeting new people, and going on first dates to find out more about each other; they stop dating. And with good reason – who wants to be in the awkward situation of, after one date or one phone call, having to decide whether to celebrate February 14th as a romantic, couples-only holiday?! If you mention it to your date you’ll look super-scarily keen, but if you don’t you may seem rude and uninterested in your date. What can you do? Answer is, we don’t know – thus we see a perfectly valid reason for hating that dreaded day.

Where can you go on Valentine’s evening?

So, you’re perfectly content to get all your single girls together and head out for a night of fun, forget the ‘supposed’ date you’re meant to have – your girls are much more fun anyway! That’s all well and good, but where exactly are you going to go? Restaurant? Many wont take bookings other than for couples, and if you’re lucky enough to find one that does – do you really want to feel that you can’t chat and laugh properly for fear of upsetting all those couples sitting quietly just looking at each other. Cinema? Just don’t go there. Pub or club? Surely that would be your best bet, but think about it – a group of single girls out together on valentine’s day – you’re bound to attract a lot of unwanted attention from single men out on the ‘pull’, so much so in fact, that it’s probably not worth the hassle. Although a night in with your girls, take-away and a good film will be fun – it’s not nice to feel that you can’t easily go out, should you want to.

Dating?

But in the early stages?

For similar reasons as singles find, Valentine’s Day can be one big awkward nightmare. So, you’ve been dating for a while and are getting quite comfortable with each other. But what do you do come February 14th? Do you propose a date or don’t you? Are you buying presents or not? Will you seem too over-keen if you do? But will you seem uninterested if you don’t? Aargh, why are these hideous choices thrust upon you when you were perfectly happy just meandering along together?!

Multi-daters

This is a big one, what do you do if you’re a multi-dater? You haven’t found that ‘special someone’ just yet and have been keeping your options open. But with the big day looming what are you going to do? Valentine’s day means you’re going to have to make a huge choice and decide who’s your number one – and this will inevitably mean that you wont hear again from the dates you ditched. Alternatively you can juggle your dates – a good idea? I think not. How will you explain that no, you’re not free in the evening, and no, we can’t go to this area. And what about hiding the evidence – you’ll either have to waste or eat a lot of chocolate!

In a relationship?

Perfect-night pressure

The pressure to get it right on Valentine’s can be immense, and this rings true whether it’s your first, fourth, or fortieth year together. On the first there’s bound to be pressure – you need to get it right or it could spell the end. But think about it, after that amazing first Valentine’s date, how do you beat it with the second? And the third? Fourth? Fifth? And it’s not only the date you need to get right, but the present? Surely you can’t get this perfect every year…after all, there are only so many roses you can buy.

One of you loves it, one of you hates it

A common Valentine’s trouble where usually (not always mind), it’s the male who hates it and the female who loves it. This can cause some quite serious problems as the ‘Valentine’s lover’ may feel unloved if the ‘Valentine’s hater’ doesn’t buck up their ideas. Similarly, the ‘hater’ may feel smothered if the ‘lover’ suddenly turns all mushy and romantic. Although usually this is a small problem where both can see each others sides, it has been known to lead to more serious relationship issues.

Will you make it through?

Valentine’s Day can put an extra focus on your relationship – and not necessarily a good one. If you and your partner are having a bit of a bad time, Valentine’s can lead to both of you questioning your relationship. Where are we going? Are we moving to fast? Are we moving to slow? Do we have a similar outlook or do we both want different things? Valentine’s can lead to discussions such as these, but in a cruel twist it also leads to amplified feelings. So what would usually have been a simple discussion can sometime lead couples to break at this ‘romantic’ time of year.

Holding on but for the wrong reasons

You both so want that perfect Valentine’s, after all, that’s what couples do isn’t it? Or you can’t face the thought of being single for the big day? For whatever reason, couples tend to cling onto relationships at this time of year meaning that you stay together but for all the wrong reasons. Now surely, this can’t be healthy. 

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