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Long Distance Relationships: How to make them last

Katie Silcox | Monday 28 January 2008 | 10:59

There are many reasons for long distance relationships. Maybe you fell for each other online - only to find you live far apart. Or did one of you have to move away for work? Or home from uni?

In today’s society, long distance relationships are increasingly more common, and although every situation is different, there are ways to manage it. Read our top ten tips on how to make it work, with advice from those who have been there:

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Try:

First and foremost – give it a go. Don’t give up before you begin just because, “It’ll never work”. Remember that others have been in the same situation as you and many are proof that it can work.

Be Sure:

Saying that - be sure of your attraction to each other before giving long-distance a go. If it’s a purely physical attraction, then the relationship probably won’t work, but if it’s an emotional connection and a true love for one another, then there’s every chance it will.

Day-to-day chat:

Just hearing your partner’s voice will work wonders when you’re missing them. Be involved in each others day to day lives; know as much about your partners work, hobbies, and social lives as possible. Ask how their day was; find out about any new tasks they undertook or any new people they met, listen to what were the high and low points of their day. Knowing the small things about each other will allow you to feel much closer.

Be Open:

Don’t only focus on the small things, but be sure to talk about the big things. Be open about your feelings; any worries or problems you may have. It’s true that getting things out in the open will make you feel better, particularly in a long-distance relationship. If left unspoken, concerns will heighten as there’s more time to think about problems and less time to be with and reassure each other.

Travel:

Take every opportunity you can to see each other. Always make the effort as no conversation can compare to actually being with each other, but do be sure to equal the travelling out – it’s only fair.

Use technology:

Make the most of modern technology. Texts are a great way to show you’re thinking of each other, e-mail is a good way of staying in touch (although not as good as conversation), Skype is perfect if you live abroad as it allows you to talk for free, while digital photos allow your partner into any and every aspect of your life, and webcam feels more personal still.

Be spontaneous:

Surprise each other. Write a letter every now and then, nothing is more romantic than this old fashioned way of keeping in touch (although be glad it’s no longer the only way to stay in touch!). Call simply to say ‘I love you’.

Overcome jealousy:

Don’t let the green eyed monster win. Once in a while in every partnership, one or other of you will become jealous. This is heightened in a long-distance relationship however, as you can’t know what each other is doing every minute of the day. Build each other’s trust; talking about your day and talking about concerns will make you feel closer and allow trust to grow.

Keep the faith:

No matter what you’re feeling; lost, hurt, lonely or upset, don’t give up the faith that you can and will be together.

Know your future:

Have a goal. If you’re going to be together then in the end you’ll need to move closer. Talk about this, understand the hurdles and the problems in achieving this, but know that if you both want it enough, you’ll get there in the end.

It won't always be easy, but if you know it's right - stick to it and it's sure to pay off.

 

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