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Why haven’t they called?

Rebecca Garson | Tuesday 08 July 2008 | 13:38

So you finally bagged your dream date and thought the evening went well - the conversation and wine flowed nicely, you laughed, flirted - so how come you still haven’t heard from them? Did you have spinach stuck in your teeth all the way through dinner? Have they been mugged? Or maybe, god forbid, they just aren’t interested?

There are many reasons why your date may not have called and not all of them are negative.

1. Insecurities
Maybe the reason they haven’t called is because they are scared. Your date was such a success, perhaps they simply think you are out of their league. Some people have serious issues when it comes to dating someone who appears too clever, attractive or wealthy, because they are afraid they will come across as not good enough or live up to that person’s expectations. If this is the case, do you want to be with someone like this? You want your date to be comfortable with not only who you are, but themselves - otherwise it may cause all sorts of problems if you got together, such as trust and jealousy.

2. Rejection
What if they call you and you turn them down? Some people simply can’t handle rejection. How would you feel if you were the initiator following your date and called them back to arrange another get together only to hear they weren’t interested? Your ego would be seriously bruised. Give them time to pluck up the courage to call.

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3. Hidden information
Perhaps your date is still seeing someone, or is married with three kids! You have only been on one date, so you don’t know them well enough to figure out if they are hiding information from you. If this is the case, it has nothing to do with you so don’t sweat it!

4. They’re genuinely busy
Husband-wife duo Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal, authors of Why Hasn’t He Called? say even though it may seem like a terrible excuse, perhaps they have a lot on right now and simply haven’t had a spare moment to call you back. If so, they don’t have time for a relationship, so don’t waste your energy.

5. Your not their type
You may have thought the date went well but perhaps they thought otherwise. Everyone has different likes and dislikes when it comes to what they look for in a relationship and as much as it may hurt, you may have not ticked all the right boxes. This doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you, it just means that on this occasion you weren’t the right match.

If weeks pass and they still haven’t called, try ringing them. If they don’t pick up then don’t be disheartened, move on. There are plenty more fish in the sea!

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