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Romancing the phone

Rebecca Garson | Tuesday 08 July 2008 | 13:34

Forget writing love notes, it’s all about “Flexting”, otherwise known as flirt texting. More and more people are declaring their love via mobile phone, which is perfect if you are the shy and retiring type. Using your fingers and thumbs means the person you are trying to romance can’t hear you stutter, or see your cheeks turn pink with embarrassment when you finally decide to pluck up the courage to ask them for a date.

A poll carried out by the price comparison and switching website, uSwitch, last year revealed that we are spending nearly £3 billion a year ‘flexting’, showing the extent to which mobile phones are now playing a part when it comes to matters of the heart.

Steve Weller, head of communications services at uSwitch.com, says: "Such is the joy of text that we are now dependent on our phones for every aspect of our lives, even our love-lives.” He adds: “We all know that text messaging is popular, but we never knew so much flirting was going on. With 235 million texts flying about each month it seems texts are the new arrows to Cupid's bow.” If these figures scare you and you are worried that you are out of the loop when it comes to the new “flexting” generation, never fear. Here are our tips on how you can text your way to their heart:

1. Don’t leave it too long before you reply
Many people say you should leave it three days before replying to a text. Think again. If someone left you waiting that long wouldn’t you get fed up? Don’t reply instantly – leave it a few hours, and then write back. That way you are playing it cool, but not leaving them hanging.

2. Check your spelling!
There is nothing worse than reading a text message with bad grammar. It’s really frustrating. Also try not to use abbreviations, like “CU L8er”, not everyone is up with the texting lingo and it will just confuse them. As relationship guru John Gray says: “It makes less of an impact on the intended to learn that you want to ‘kips’ rather than ‘kiss’ them.”

3. Don’t over use emoticons
A text filled with smiley faces can be major overkill. There’s no harm in the occasional winky face as it shows you’re keen, but don’t put them after every sentence. According to uSwitch, 5.5 million mobile users in Britain see smiley face icons as a big turn-off.

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4. To kiss or not to kiss, that is the question…
One of the biggest dilemmas for people is should I or should I not end my text with a kiss and why haven’t they put one on theirs? Don’t read too much into this. Obviously if they put a kiss that’s great, but if they don’t, it doesn’t mean they aren’t interested. Some people genuinely don’t use them or they may be trying to play it cool.

5. Check before you hit send
Before you send your text message, double check that you’re sending it to the right person. The last thing you want is for your mum or ex to read a flirtatious text message to the person you are trying to romance. Talk about embarrassing! It may seem obvious, but it’s uncanny how many people have made this big error. If you follow this guide you should be well on the way to winning over your potential new love interest – but be warned nearly 6 million Brits have been dumped by text message, so be careful when using your fingers and thumbs to “flext”.

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