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Chat room etiquette

Rebecca Garson | Tuesday 08 July 2008 | 12:10

 

More and more people are using internet chat rooms because they have so many benefits. If you’re not the sort of person who can just go up to someone in a bar or club, chat rooms are ideal because they allow you to approach a person without having to worry about what to wear, slurring your words or spilling your drink over them. According to eHarmony, there are about 90 marriages every day among people who met online, so there is every chance that if you approach internet chat rooms in the right way you could find your life partner. However, there is always the problem of scam artists and so you must be wary.

If you are new to the chat room scene, read our ten handy tips on chat room etiquette and how to stay safe online:

1. Focus
There are so many single chat room websites out there it’s hard to know which one to choose. To make finding your future partner that little bit easier, pick one focused on a topic that interests you, whether it be film, sport or gardening. This will allow you to find someone with similar interests and preferences.

2. Personal Information
Be very careful when it comes to giving a person personal information, such as your full name, address or telephone number. When you first meet someone online just give them your email address and if you want to be extra careful set up a new email account just for online dating purposes.

3. Locality
When searching for people to chat to, try and find someone in your local area. You don’t want to start talking to someone, get really keen, only to find that they live in Australia. Think of the air fare!

4. Honesty
If you find out that the person you have been chatting to has lied about who they are, cut all contact immediately. Dishonesty is not the way to start a relationship with someone because you will never trust each other. This swings both ways. Give potential suitors an insight into the real you by being honest when writing your profile. When it comes to uploading a profile picture make sure it is a current one, not one that was taken 20 years ago and never use someone else’s picture.

5. Be inquisitive
When you first start chatting to someone make sure you ask lots of questions. Don’t be too pushy but try and find out as much about this person as you can to find out whether you share the same interests, likes and dislikes. If they are cagey when it comes to answering your questions it shows that they may have something to hide.

6. Be yourself
Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Don’t say you love football when you can’t stand it or that you are a vegetarian just because they are. The truth will come out eventually and when it does the relationship will end before it has even begun. Let them get to know the real you.

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7. Don’t get too attached
In Internet dating expert Yvonne Rice’s book, Finding 'The One' - A Powerful Step-by-Step Guide to Making Online Dating Work For You, she offers tips on how to navigate the new singles scene successfully and safely and advises people not to get their hopes up too soon. “Don't fall into the trap of becoming too attached to someone whom you only know through email or instant messages”. She adds: “The Internet can create a false sense of closeness, and many people find themselves 'in love' with the idea of being in love.”

8. Don’t leave it too long
If you do start chatting to someone and you think there is potential that you could get along, set up a date quickly. The sooner you meet them, the sooner you will be able to judge whether you have a connection. If the spark isn’t there, then you haven’t wasted too much of your time and you can move on.

9. Meet in public
If you do arrange to meet someone for the first time make sure it is in a public place and avoid meeting them in the evening. A coffee shop is an ideal location as you will be surrounded by people. Tell a few of your friends where you are going and at what time and always take your mobile phone with you incase you do need to contact someone.

10. Don’t rush
Yvonne Rice also advises people not to rush when it comes to finding love online. “Finding 'the one' may take time.” She adds: “Don't expect to find your soul mate your first time out. You may have to chat with many people and go on many dates before finding that special someone.”

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