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Your call…

Shehnaaz Chenia | Monday 07 January 2008 | 11:29

Don’t worry, you’re in good hands. Follow our rules of post-dating etiquette below to keep that buzz ringing.

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Short but sweet.

It’s great to show your thoughtful side by making sure your date got home safely and thanking him for the time you enjoyed together. A text message is usually the best way to convey these sentiments. Remember to keep it short and sweet as it’s too soon at this stage to open deeper channels of communication.

The three-day wait.

It’s common to hear of the ‘three day wait’, i.e. the amount of time you should hold back before phoning your date. If this seems too long, maybe two days is more workable for you, but it’s best not to contact the person any sooner than two days as you may appear too eager which your man may read as being a sign of insecurity/clinginess. Relax and try to enjoy this casual stage, which is often one of the most exciting. 

Preparation is key.

Having some idea of what you plan to say when calling your guy is always a good idea. We’re not suggesting that you to prepare a script and predict his part in the conversation, but it helps to have some topics of conversation in mind to keep the phone call flowing.

Light and polite.

Before you burst into your speech about how much you enjoyed your date’s company the other evening, ask him whether it is a convenient time for you to be phoning. This shows thoughtfulness towards his life and commitments. When you do get into your conversation together, keep it light and pleasant. Avoid topics which could be uncomfortable or cause disagreement. Music, films, food, hobbies and travel are usually good subjects to go for.

Leaving a message.

If he does not pick up the phone, feel free to leave a brief message. By all means, follow it up with a short, casual email too, but then leave it at that. Don’t leave messages incessantly as this is the biggest turn-off and will act as a sign of insecurity as opposed to interest.

Busy and Carefree.

Keep busy with your own life if you’re waiting on a phone call after a successful first date. Don’t wait for him to ring or allow yourself to build your expectations up. That way, any phone call from your guy will be a pleasant surprise.

Don’t be too disheartened by delay.

If he hasn’t called after three days, try not to let it get you down. There may be perfectly valid reasons as to why he’s not been in touch, so try not to read too much into it. If you’ve left him a message, all you can do is wait. And remember, it’s his loss if he misses the chance to ask you on a second date.

Call.

Remember the golden rule. If you told your date that you would call him, then do so. Even if you don’t wish to follow the date up with another meeting, let him down gently, then at least he’ll know one way or the other, rather than being kept hanging on.

Technological Traps.

Communicating via email and text message are convenient, fast and relatively easy methods of getting in touch with your guy after your first meeting. But remember that the tone of such methods can sometimes be misinterpreted due to lack of the ‘human touch’. Face-to-face meetings and telephone conversations are far better ways of keeping in contact with your dream date, allowing both of you to judge situations better based on body language, vocal intonation and of course, natural instinct. 

Please note that the guidelines above are exactly that, guidelines. The best way to apply our top tips is to look at each date individually, as what one guy finds good etiquette and respect for personal space, another may misread as being a sign that you’re not interested. Judge each situation on it’s own merits, and use our hints where you feel appropriate. Oh, and of course, do feel free to make the first call; it doesn’t have to be the man’s job! Good luck!

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