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What to tell your kids about dating

Kate Faithful | Wednesday 25 June 2008 | 12:20

Staging a comeback on the dating scene is hard enough, but when you’ve got your children’s feelings to consider too the whole situation can feel more stressful than sexy. Fret no more: here is your easy-as-ABC guide to explaining your new love life to your kids…

Step 1: Be honest. Sort of
Instead of saying, ‘I’m going on a date,’ tell your kids you’re going out with a friend. You’re not lying, but you’re not complicating things either. The less you over-explain, the more accepting your children will be.

Step 2: Play a long game
Wait until you’re sure about your blossoming relationship before you introduce your kids. Whether your brood are toddlers or teenagers, they can feel very confused at seeing you with several different partners – even if you’re only dating a few! Patience will pay off.

Step 3: Short and sweet
When you’re ready to introduce your someone-special to the kids, plan a little outing to the cinema rather than having your date stay for the whole weekend. Increase the time they spend together slowly and your children are less likely to feel their family space is being invaded.

Step 4: Listen to your kids
Hearing the dreaded words, ‘I don’t want another mum / dad,’ doesn’t mean you have to kill off your new relationship. But if your child hates your date because they feel ignored or put down, then pay attention.

Step 5: Reassure, reassure, reassure
You cannot say, ‘I love you,’ to your children enough. Let them know that the love you have for them is absolutely constant and that your new partner isn’t going to take away from that in any way. Stop resentment in its tracks and you will all be happier for it.

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