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Dating quiz: Are you too fussy?
Shehnaaz Chenia | Wednesday 31 October 2007 | 15:27
Where do you fall in the pickiness spectrum and what does it say about you? Are you too choosy, have you got it just right or do you deserve better when it comes to finding the right man? Take our quiz to find out.
B – You try to keep an open mind rather than just targeting the pretty boys, and read a few profiles as well as checking out their photos. But you’re fairly fussy about who you write to, and you don’t reply to everyone.
C – “Wink” at all the men who come close to meeting your requirements, and drop an introductory note to a few men each day. You can’t be too fussy, and, if you widen your net, someone’s bound to show an interest in you.
B – Well, you haven’t got a particular passion for beer bellies. But you’ve got your flaws too, and you might have a great time with him… and you do think he’s got a rather nice smile. So you agree to go out for a drink.
C – Beer belly? Great! He’ll make you look slim!
B – You resolve to teach him (subtly) to kiss better. It can be done. Probably.
C – Hey, there’s more to life than kissing. In fact you’re pleased, because if some other girl catches his eye, she’ll dump him as soon as he unleashed the walrus act, and he’ll come running back to you. Winner!
B – Say yes, because he may be worth a second chance. But you take him to a bar where you know there’ll be lots of eligible men…
C – Say yes immediately. You’ll probably do the same next Saturday, too.
B – Let him know you’re not happy, but don’t bang on about it. You end up having a great evening anyway.
C – You’re delighted to see him when he does eventually turn up, and you never mention his tardiness. It’s just a little quirk he has.
B – Agree to meet him but make it very clear that this isn’t a date. Perhaps he deserves a chance to explain himself, and you resolve to keep an open mind – but you don’t get your hopes up.
C – You’re unable to talk because you’re so excited. He wants you back! Eventually you’re able to thank him profusely for phoning, and let him choose when and where to meet. Conversation over, you go and buy a new outfit that you know he’ll love.
B – You agonise over it but you decide to let him go. A relationship can’t work if you have such fundamentally different desires for the future.
C – It doesn’t matter. You obviously weren’t meant to be a mother. If you let this guy go and wait for a man who does want kids, you could be waiting forever.
B – If you define body-and-soul infatuation as a form of love, then it can certainly happen. But genuine love takes a while to develop, and even attraction isn’t always instant.
C – Absolutely – it happens to you all the time.
Well hello there, Ms Fusspot. You’re such a perfectionist that no man alive can meet your fantastical requirements – and the thing about fantasy is that it’s not real. Real men aren’t perfect. Some of them have beer bellies, some of them don’t have much hair, some of them like to go out with their mates and not tell you first. Tough. What’s so perfect about you that you can make such demands of your men? If you really would prefer to stay single forever, that’s absolutely fine. But I suspect you don’t, and that you’re genuinely hankering for Mr Right. Maybe, in order to find him, you need to give Mr Could-Be a chance first – you never know, he could make you very happy indeed.
You’re mature enough to know that fairy tales don’t come true, but you’re no cynic – not all men are bastards, and there are some really good ones out there. What’s more, you can’t always tell the great ones at first date, let alone at first sight. However you also have enough self-respect to turn someone down when they’re not pushing your buttons, and if someone treats you badly you let him know that you’re not happy. If he thinks that makes you a crazy neurotic, that’s his problem. You know that issues can be discussed and worked on, but if a guy isn’t man enough to engage in discussion, he’s not the man for you. Where’s the joy in going out with someone you don’t fancy, or who makes you feel bad about yourself? Better to be single and enjoy your friends, your me-time and the chance to date lots of different men!
Go out and buy a CD of Aretha Franklin singing Respect. Play it to yourself 10 times each night and 10 times each morning. Because honey, there are whoopie cushions with more self-respect than you. For some reason – possibly to do with your upbringing, your experiences at school and your early relationships – you are wildly insecure and grateful for any scraps of male attention. If it’s any consolation, a heck of a lot of us are like this. We go out with men we’re not 100% sure about, because we’re embarrassed about being single and we don’t think we can do any better. We let men treat us badly because we don’t want to lose them. We’ll sleep with him too soon because we’re scared of losing him, we’ll tolerate his rudeness because we’re scared of losing him, we’ll replace our entire CD collection with stuff he likes because we’re scared of losing him. Hear this: you deserve better! Wanting affection is normal, but wanting a boyfriend so badly that you think of little else is seriously harming your quality of life. Be patient, enjoy yourself and your friends, and that burgeoning self-respect will eventually get you what you deserve.
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