By Jane Hoskyn | Wednesday 7 May | 09:58
A knack for chat is priceless when you're looking for love. You may have gorgeous eyes and an 11/10 kissing technique, but you won't get a second date if you can't hold a conversation. Give yourself a helping hand with a few killer topics to keep the chat flowing....
1. TRAVEL
Do say: “If you could visit one city in the world, money no object, where would it be?”
Everyone loves to indulge in nostalgia and fantasy. Chatting about travel will put your date in a good mood. They’ll get to show off their fabulous taste in destinations and blab about the places they’ve been. It’s also a useful way for you to suss out your compatibility and their personality.
Don’t say: “Going anywhere nice this year?”
You are not their hairdresser. Also, don’t brag so much about your own travels that your companion ends up feeling dull by comparison. It won’t make you look good, and you won’t get a second date.
2. POP CULTURE
Do say: “Who’d be on your fantasy music festival line-up?”
Movies, music and telly are conversational gold. You can hit on things you have in common, and express your individuality. As with travel chat, this allows your date to show off their tastes, and reveals more about them to you. If you’re of similar ages, favourite childhood TV shows are a nostalgia-rich topic that’ll soon have you both laughing in shared recognition.
Don’t say: “Oh God, you don’t like this song do you?”
You may get away with half-serious digs at someone’s taste if they’re your best mate or you’ve been going out with them for years. On a first date it just shows you to be mean and insecure, and will make them feel hurt. Very Also, don’t babble away about telly as if it’s the centre of your existence. Especially if you have a Star Trek fixation. And don’t grab their iPod for a quick scroll through their music – that’s as intrusive as going through their knicker drawer.
Fancy trying those conversational skills? Find a date on Sky Dating now!
3. FOOD
Do say: “What’s the best meal you’ve ever eaten?”
OK, let’s get scientific for a sec. People love to talk about food, because it gets the feel-good chemicals swilling around their brain. Asking about their favourite-ever meal will also get them reminiscing about great holidays – and give you a better idea of what they love (and don’t love) to eat. And whether they can cook!
Don’t say: “I don’t eat dairy, wheat, sugar, additives or red meat. Red meat poisons your intestines.”
Keep your food-phobias to yourself on a first date. You want your companion to feel comfortable around you. Being a proud food fascist is deeply unattractive, even if it does help to keep your thighs thin. And don’t slam your date’s food likes and dislikes, because it’s a very personal criticism.
4. CURRENT EVENTS
Do say: “My friend wants to see Chelsea and Man Utd in Moscow. Good luck to him – apparently it’s £5 for a cup of tea…”
The front pages are a rich source of conversation if you and your date are news-following types. But keep the tone light. Think Have I Got News For You.
Don’t say: “I hate this government, their stealth taxes have killed any public trust in reform.”
You’re on a date, not a doorstep during an election campaign. Only get into politics and/or religion if you’re with a fellow politics/religion obsessive. These subjects are important and can be fascinating, but a first date is a fragile thing. Don’t scare someone off by seeming aggressive, stubborn or intellectually intimidating. And the way to someone’s heart is generally not through a screaming row.
5. WORK
Do say: “What’s your dream job?”
Like current events, work is potentially a good topic – but handle it with care. Keep things upbeat, and don’t pursue it if your date obviously hates their job. Be encouraging and steer the chat towards dreams and fantasy ambitions. Allow them to brag, and be (or at least act) impressed.
Don’t say: “My boss is such a dictator, I hate my job.”
If you start whingeing about how much you hate your work, you kill the tone of the conversation. By inviting your date to indulge your moaning or to have a whinge as well, you won’t leave them in a chipper mood – or wanting to see you again.