By Katie Silcox | Thursday 28 February | 08:52
Ever had that dreaded feeling? The one that causes you to question your partner? How would you know if he or she was cheating? Are there any sure-fire signs? We expose some of the key signs to help you judge your partner and your relationship.
Be cautious, just because your partner is exhibiting some of theses signs - it doesn’t mean they’re cheating. But if you’ve suspected it beforehand and also see some of these signs, we advise you to be wary. And there’s nothing wrong with doing a little more of your own research.
Change in behaviour towards you
A change in behaviour often occurs hand-in-hand with a change in life experience. So, if your partner starts showering you in affection for no real reason, it’s often not a good sign. Similarly, if they pay you less attention or starts to ignore you and your requests, it may be worth thinking about why.
Change in day-to-day behaviour
Equally suspicious is a change in day-to-day behaviour. Suddenly having to work long hours, or taking up a new hobby are clues. Especially if say, your partner takes up Italian lessons but there’s no evidence of any language learning.
Won’t communicate
Although we’re not telling you to accuse or interrogate your partner about their everyday life, a loving couple should be able to communicate and talk about their lives when they’re away from each other. With this in mind, if your partner becomes defensive, angry, or refuses to answer simple questions – it may be a sign that something is wrong.
Has cheated before
You know the saying, ‘A leopard never changes its spots’. We’d never say this always holds true, as some people can and do change. However, if your partner has cheated in the past and you suspect it again, you may not be far off the mark.
Computer use increases and is secretive
Computers are a great influence in modern life, however the internet also has a tendency to help cheating partners as it gives greater methods of communication; instant messaging, e-mail, social networking sites etc. If your partners use of the internet increases, plus he or she is secretive about the sites visited (deletes internet history, quickly hides pages when you walk in) then you may have reason to be suspicious.
Phone calls
This is an old one, said many times before –but for good reason. With the invent of mobile phones, it’s not likely an unidentified female will be calling your house and hanging up when you answer. But you can read mobile signs too… Look out for your partner suddenly taking or making phone calls in the middle of the night, whispering on the phone, or cutting calls short in your presence. You could check caller ID or phone bills if you’re looking for evidence.
Finding fault in you
Often cheating spouses start to find and point out fault in their partners. Although you may be left feeling inadequate, this is actually a way for a cheating partner to try and justify to themselves why they have strayed.
Spending more money than usual
Does your partner seem to have less money than usual? And has no reasonable way to justify this? If he or she is seeing someone else, it’s probable that they’ll be spending money on dates/presents etc for the other person. Keep an eye on this.
Pays more attention to appearance
A sudden change in attitude towards appearance may mean a new found love for the gym after a lifetime of pie and chips. But it’s not likely. Partners who have become comfortable in their relationship may feel they need to make effort for their new man or woman. Pay attention to clothes, personal grooming and fitness regimes.
You have a gut instinct
You can read all the signs in the world, but time and time again your own instincts will prove best. Have you got a nagging feeling that you partner is cheating? Chances are that something’s not right.
Cheating can have a devastating effect on a relationship, often ending in a split or divorce and it’s for this reason that cheaters will usually do their best to keep it hidden. For you, this means it’s hard to identify and even harder to prove –but be aware and look for our telltale signs.
Remember though, these signs won’t always mean you have a cheater – perhaps your partner is secretive on the internet as they’re buying you a present, or maybe they have taken up an after-work hobby such as massage in order to give you a treat.
There’s no denying that it’s hard to judge, but as sign number 10 states – trust your gut instinct.
Looking for love? Join now and meet local singles online